What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 17.06.2025 23:51
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
As i do to all so called friends.?
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
What defines the k'vanna of the Book of בראשית?
I was 9 years of age.
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
Do Americans realize how much goodwill and credibility they've lost in the past two weeks?
My life is so biszare .
I will be 64.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
How did the Nazis figure out whether a person or community is 'Aryan' or not?
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
What was your embarrassing moment in front of your father-in-law as an Indian daughter-in-law?
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
And i lived it daily.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
Why do you think Democrat favorability ratings are so low?
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
What is a sermon to talk about men?
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
All the time i was locked up.
Common herbal supplement used to beat stress linked to liver toxicity - Times of India
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
I was scared of men, in general
Who then, do I blame.?
Do you have any fantasies you are ashamed of?
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
What is your favourite colour and why?
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
But ive been too sick for many years..
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
When she asked me how she looked .
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
Especially a lifetime of it.
What did i know ?
Im still living with it.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
Where the ultimate outsiders.
She loved him until the end.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
But it wasn’t much.
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
I have no regrets .
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
I waited trembling.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
So, i spoilt her more .
This is soul school!.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
I could never make a relationship work though!
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
She was in good health!
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
He resisted the act ,that day.
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
She wouldn,t have been !
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
(And it was in our own minds.)
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
Im dying but, im not bitter.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
We all went to grammer schools
This is how, and why children get BPD.
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
Put me off passion for life!!
I was very sick at this time too.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
I know ,a lot about trauma.
I write beautiful poetry .
On the 31st of Jan this month .
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
She married twice! .
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
Was to survive, this bastard.
Why did i forgive my father ?
The only rule us 5 kids had .
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
I was seconnd youngest,
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
He knew the spot.
One cannot live in the past .
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
I think the readers, may guess!
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
I said to her
We were not on the streets..
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
My family never makes their pension either.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
My mum and dad in the seventies!
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
She found it foreign!.
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
I couldn’t, believe it.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
I don,t even have a pension.
It was going to be , some day.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
I had hoped to write a book about this .
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
Ive learnt so much.
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
But, we were locked up after school.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
I never cut or harmed myself..
Comes on , in middle age.
So whats the point in blame.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
Would this be the day?
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
He was dying to do it , i knew.
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..